bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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