Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
