I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
