It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
