Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So many bounce houses so little time
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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