Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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