I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
