Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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