Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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