I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
