you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
