didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
