Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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