she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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