im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
