belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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