I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
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it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying