in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock