I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
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He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
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But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid