I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
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I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
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If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection