What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
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If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
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The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week