You're completely useless in the revolution.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
