he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
COCAINE IS GR8
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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