thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
