Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
