nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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