More tranny stories later!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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