love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
