I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
