Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
