holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
