"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
