i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Do vagina's smell?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
