you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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