Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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