as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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