Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
