You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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