I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
where are my eyebrows?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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