There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
