yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
