I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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