it's not cheating when I paid for it
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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