It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
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I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
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I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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