you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
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