Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize