what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
