as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize