I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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