haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
