Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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