I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize