Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
