Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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