we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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