Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
