im six kinds of drunk right now
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
