After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize