My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Randomize
