I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
