If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
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I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
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I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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