Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
