Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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