yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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