sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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