Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Sorry about my life...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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