5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
